The Science of Success

#1  Develop A Pleasing Personality

14 habits of people who are so likable that others go out of their way to help them:

1. They develop a positive mental attitude and let it be seen and felt by others.

It's often easier to give into cynicism, but those who choose to be positive set themselves up for success and have better reputations.

2. They always speak in a carefully disciplined, friendly tone.

The best communicators speak deliberately and confidently, which gives their voice a pleasing sound.

3. They pay close attention to someone speaking to them.

Using a conversation as an opportunity to lecture someone "may feed the ego, but it never attracts people or makes friends," Hill says.

4. They are able to maintain their composure in all circumstances.

An overreaction to something either positive or negative can give people a poor impression. In the latter case, says Hill, "Remember that silence may be much more effective than your angry words."

5. They are patient.

"Remember that proper timing of your words and acts may give you a big advantage over impatient people," Hill writes.

6. They keep an open mind.

Those who close themselves off from certain ideas and associate only with like-minded people are missing out on not only personal growth but also opportunities for advancing their careers.

7. They smile when speaking with others.

Hill says that president Franklin D. Roosevelt's greatest asset was his "million-dollar smile," which allowed people to lower their guards during conversation.

8. They know that not all their thoughts need to be expressed.

The most likable people know that it's not worth offending people by expressing all their thoughts, even if they happen to be true.

9. They don't procrastinate.

Procrastination communicates to people that you're afraid of taking action, Hill says, and are therefore ineffective.

10. They engage in at least one good deed a day.

The best networkers help other people out without expecting anything in return.

11. They find a lesson in failure rather than brood over it.

People admire those who grow from failure rather than wallow in it. "Express your gratitude for having gained a measure of wisdom, which would not have come without defeat," Hill says.

12. They act as if the person they are speaking to is the most important person in the world.

The most likable people use conversations as an opportunity to learn about another person and give them time to talk.

13. They praise others in a genuine way without being excessive.

"Praise the good traits of others, but don't rub it on where it is not deserved or spread it too thickly," Hill says.

14. They have someone they trust point out their flaws.

Successful people don't pretend to be likable; they are likable because they care about their conduct and reputation. Having a confidant who can be completely honest with them allows them to continue growing.

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/habits-of-exceptionally-likable-people-2014-5#ixzz32TXQ6Iww

April Books

This book comes in during my very difficult times at work.

1.  How to be a people magnet - Leil Lowndes

Things I've learned.

1.  How to make people/strangers like you?
Spread some sunshine!
.  Have you made a conscious effort to hear everything people have to say and whenever appropriate, phase it from their perspective.
.  Make other feels special, turn mundane minutes into magic moments with longer eye contact.
.  Win their hearts with 10 words, not just "Thank you".  Always think to see if it fits to tell why you are thankful. Say "Thanks for . . . . . . . . . ."
.  Whenever appropriate, apply a longer gentler kinder, tender touch.
.  Be a Hallmark card - have a smile for every occasion.  No more one-size fits-all smiles.  See the beauty in the other person and let the smile S-L-O-W-L-Y pours from the heart and spill over onto the face.
.  Listen not just with your ears, but with your hearts to fell and eyes to observe. Listen with sensitivity.
.  Fine-tuning your tongue.  When talking to men, avoid words that are gender specific.  Minimize feeling words and stick with facts. Do not apologize unless you mean it.  Speak confidently.

Fragging the fatal FUD factor:
People who criticize you:  Never (CN), Seldom (CS), beneficially (CB), Lot (CL). Always (CA). Treasure those that are supportive of you and ditch those Bitches (CLs, CAs) and go for your gold.
. Don't be a posie, but paying attention to how you move is important.  Have a good confident, back straight stride.  Have courteous, protective, loving movements.

The Emperor's New Clothes.  In a roomful of strangers, instead of feeling you are about to jump into an ice cold swimming pool, just find a farthest end of the room (hopefully with food table there) and acknowledge every 3rd or 4th person your eyes meet with a nod or a smile.  Then try to introduce yourself to a loner and have your hand ready to exchange a handshake.  


2.  Coaching Girls' Soccer Successfully - Debra LaPrath

3.  The Tennis Drill Book - Tina Hoskins

4.  Tennis Fundamentals - A better way to learn the basics - Carol Matsuzaki


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One Book A Month

Yup, that's one of my 2014 New Year's Resolutions that I am sticking to.  Goal is to learn something, anything.

Books borrowed and actually read:

1.  How to be a Straight A Student

I am already one but I don't know what's the secret to it.  Or it has been so long that I don't remember what it was that I did.  So better to learn from the experts.

2. & 3.  Investing ; How to Make Money In Stock

Well, with my hectic work schedule, reading word by word will be impossible but that's okay.  Picked the sections that is interesting and read it and get the gist of it.  The goal is to learn something new.  It should answer some of the questions you always have or inspire in some way.

4.  Juicing (養生) 

Inspired by someone who read the book 有些事，這些年我才懂.  Need to put it to action.  Even my mom is doing it.  The key is to start early!!

Inspiring Sayings:

Update nothing; impress no one!

Endorse nothing, astride the globe!

Practice mindfulness meditation to improve cognitive effeciency.
Practice verbal and nonverbal working memory to increase the span of your immediate memory.
 
Praise all the preparation and hardwork for succeeding and not because of being smart.